Guilt

Sitting down feeling terrified

I have nothing but joy ahead

8 weeks until my son arrives, with it comes a year from work

ive never not worked

what is going to happen?

will my brain come with me?

I’m scared of becoming a mindless creature of habit.

I feel guilt as the worry and anxiety emerges

I should be ecstatic right now shouldnt i?

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My expanding lumps and bumps

Being pregnant, expansion of your lady lumps is understandable and is predictable. You have probably heard that when your skin is stretching over your growing bump it becomes dry and itchy… I’m 22 weeks pregnant and i wasn’t expecting to be quite as big as i am. Totally gutted i didn’t take measurements of my stomach at the beginning of my pregnancy, I’m all front thankfully so up to now all my ‘weight’ gain is in the front. I did do a fitness update somewhere in a notebook about a month before getting pregnant soooo kinda need to look for that when i have a spare ounce of effort.

Anyway along with my growing stomach and breasts i have experienced said itching and the uncomfortable tightness of my skin stretching and here are the products I’ve been using to try and combat it. Now i HATE the feel of creams/oils/lotions on any part of my body apart from my lower legs, hands and face. Makes me feel icky and i’m yet to experience the so called ‘sinks straight’ in feeling most stuff advertises. These 3 potions are the only ones i can bare to use and for different reasons!

The Palmer’s smells so sweet, its kind of over bearing but i cope with it as its got vitamin E and my skin feels really supple a few hours after application. Its quite thick so does take a while to sink into my skin. But i have heard good reviews about it from other mums and I’ve already bought it, waste not want not etc…

Maternity Stretch mark oil spray goes on quite warm which is a bonus, nothing worse than rubbing freezing cold stuff all over your stomach when you have just got out of bed or about to go to bed. It doesn’t really smell of much and is the least icky on my skin. I normally spray it into my hands first and then rub it onto my stomach.

The Body shop body butter doesn’t claim to help stretch marks in anyway but i love the smell, it reduces the itching and i feel i can use this all over with out the risk of slipping on the wooden flooring and ending up in the kitchen. Its a quite thick on and clogs your skin a little bit if you put more than one application on in a day, as in its like you haven’t exfoliated your skin in a month….

 

Travel whilst pregnant 

Being 22 weekend pregnant my husband and I decided we would take the opportunity to go on a baby-moon which is essentially a holiday whilst pregnant to just be a happy couple and have a bit of us time.

When me and Andrew first got together we went to Venice for our first holiday and it was great although we stayed in a hostel so wasn’t as romantic as it could have been so we decided to go again but this time stay in a hotel. It was much better. We stayed for 4 days 3 nights and really enjoyed it

Before we set off I made sure the travel insurance we purchased covered us should something happen involving my pregnancy and photocopied my pregnancy notes. I even bought flight socks which as I’ve never used any before I can say they are actually surprisingly comfy and my legs didn’t feel quite as “heavy”.

Whilst away I had growing pains once a day for about half an hour and Henry had a growth spurt or more accurately I did. I woke up the day after getting there and my stomach seemed to have sprung out of nowhere but apparently that’s a thing that happens…. Something else which provided entertainment is it was whilst away on this romantic getaway my breasts decided to start leaking clear fluid… Why is pregnancy so God damn sexy!

Packing was a bit hit and miss I wish I had brought lip balm and a different moisturiser for my stomach. It was that cold being January and all, I didn’t wear any of the nice clothes I packed and ended up wearing as many layers as possible and my coat the entire time!

Andrew was really patient with me which was amazing he didn’t rush me and constantly reminded me to go and pee before we left anywhere. Was always there to rub my back when Henry decided to push or pull or whatever it is he has been doing on the inside. So all in all it has been an amazing and very enjoyable trip. I just need a holiday now to recover from this holiday ha ha 😂

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TTC

I’ve been broody for the last 2 years. But life has been in the way, being sensible gets me down sometimes and luckily I have a very sensible husband who despite my constant cooing over babies and children said over and over again we weren’t quite ready yet, we didn’t have any savings, we lived in a one bedroom apartment in the middle of Manchester, I had just changed jobs, not the ideal time to bring life into the world if you have full control of the situation and I knew he was right so we waited. When our tenancy agreement was coming to an end we knew it was time to move in to a house. Not just to start a family but we had gotten sick of city living and wanted something a bit more in the countryside.

My husband and I started trying to conceive a month after we moved into our beautiful house back in August. We finally had the perfect house in the perfect area and everything just felt right.

We had a house warming party and it was going to be the last time I drank, trying to get pregnant and then hopefully getting pregnant is most definitely a good time to not drink! 

My last cycle started on the 22nd of August 2016. Previous to this I had already started take prenatal vitamins every evening and making sure my diet was “fairly” healthy. I had pretty much read everything I could possibly read on how to get pregnant, when the best time was and the science of it.

I bought ovulation kits and made sure we did the deed…everyday we were supposed to. A few weeks later I started having a few symptoms, my boobs hurt and I had back ache which I have never had before and after a quick Google, turned out to be a pregnancy symptom.. So I did a pregnancy test a full 2 weeks before aunt flo was even due, a negative result was all that could be expected even if I was pregnant with triplets it would still turn up negative. Slightly disappointed but logic kicking in I didn’t stress out too much.

I bought the early result pregnancy test from Tesco that say they can show a positive result as early as 7 days before AF was due and I waited until it was 3 days away. It was about 11pm and I just couldn’t wait… I nervously fumbled with the packaging and went into the bathroom. I set a timer on my phone and just sat on the toilet and waited. I couldn’t decide if there was the faintest pink line in that box or if my eyes were just playing tricks on me… I had to hold it in the light and at an angle…  Hmmm i went into the bedroom and show Andrew my hubby the test. He could also just about see it. 

Google: Pregnancy tests are designed to detect hCG in your wee – because hCG is an early marker of pregnancy. … So, a very faint line nearly always means you’re just a few days pregnant.

I know it’s stupid but I was very very excited… Andrew was trying to keep me level headed after all there is many things that could go wrong. It might be wrong… Wishful thinking, chemical pregnancy, miscarriage the list is what feels endless about what could possibly go wrong. I tried to not get my hopes up. 

The next day I went to work and was sent off to go grab some bits from Tesco. I didn’t need anything from the toiletries Isle but somehow found myself there looking at clearblue tests, early pregnancy detection stated on the front. At £20 for two I put them in my basket and paid for everything. I didn’t even manage to get out of Tesco, I went straight to the loo and did another test. I washed my hands put the test in my bag and walked back to work. Luckily for me I have a very close relationship to everyone I work with so they all knew we were trying to get pregnant so I dug out the test once I’d got to work and again another really faint line. I asked everyone around if they too could see what I could see… I was pregnant. I sent a picture to Andrew he could also see it.

Nervously we waited a week and no period came, I did another clearblue test this one was the digital test with just pregnant and not pregnant no lines to decipher just yes or no. I waited until we were both home did the the test: Pregnant 1-2 weeks, in pregnancy land that actually makes me 4 weeks pregnant. We were over the moon and felt so blessed to get pregnant straight away. Against what many people may think we told close friends and family straight away but kept it quiet to the general public. Everyone was made up told me to relax and enjoy it. 

One thing I am sure everyone has gone through pregnancy will understand is that you can’t relax especially in those first 3 months… Worry is your new best friend!

I know that for many people their journey to pregnancy and children is completely different, I can’t imagine what it would be like to see a negative test over and over. We have been truly blessed and humbled by our experience so far. I can only hope all those people trying out there get their very own positive test very soon.
Hopefully you enjoyed this post there will be follow up stories. About pregnancy and life.

I am a flake

I am a flake. I am here and there and every where and no where all at once. I have a very short attention span and when I love something I put my everything into it…until I get bored and then I put my heart into something else and then get bored.

Like blogging. I love it, then as soon as it becomes a hassle to do it, I stop. I do it with everything in life apart from actual people which is good. I go from buying everything to buying nothing and wanting to get out of the whole capitalism thing that plagues our every decision. To diet and lose weight to embracing my womanly curves. To wanting to change jobs to loving my job.

I’m a contradiction and a hypocritical loser. The things I genuinely do love I come back to time and time again which is a good sign that’s its not all a complete loss. I am also very pleased that my husband knows I am a flake and can talk some sense into me when I am just about to sign up to some class that I have to pay for in advance or something that requires a commitment that he knows I will never keep. I don’t do it on purpose and most of the time, at the beginning of one of my hair brained idea’s I am truly convinced that this time it will be different.

It’s a bit of a love, hate relationship I have with my flakiness as when I have found something I am truly passionate and I put all of my effort into and then I get bored, get distressed at life and then fall back In love with something else. My dad is exactly the same. The amount of diy projects he has started and given up on. The amount of collections he has started and given up on…

Life is one crazy rollercoaster thing that I still don’t quite understand my place in yet…

Anyway hope you have a great day =)

Love Mrs Flakey xxx

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At home Pedicures

I am unfortunately burdened like many other people with rough dry dead skin on the bottom of my foot. I have my own little dead skin platforms that are unsightly and quite frankly a bit gross. Getting them out in public has always caused me some embarrassment but life’s just a little too short!

After scouring the Internet for what products works the best it was Groupon than saved the day with a fabulous offer on a magipedi. It was £30 reduced from £90 and now all of my foot problems were going to be a thing of the past!

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I got the micopedi and began using it on my troubled areas and in a cloud of dead skin and about 40 minutes later I decided enough was enough! After hoovering up a considerable amount of sawdust my feet felt smoother, softer and much healthier. Feeling rather dusty after my skin removal I jumped in the shower and nearly broke my neck but I guess I just didn’t have as much grip as I was used to!

After a few days the skin on my feet began to string off like on the side of your finger nails when you have been chewing them. But I sanded them all off with my handy foot sander. I don’t think I was using it nearly as much as someone with the amount of deadline as I have should have been and it never really got much further down….

Foot revival part 2:

On a knifes edge; wandering around boots I came across a very strange looking razor designed for feet. Now this isn’t the type of razor that you buy to get rid of unsightly toe hairs but to actually shave the excess skin from your feet… Tasty.

I got home and wanted to get on with this interesting purchase and soaked my feet in hot/warm water with added coconut and lavender oil!

After about half an hour I got my soaking soft tootsies out of the water and began my foot shaving experiment. What happened next is pretty awesome. The skin just literally came off, it was like peeling a potato, I got loads of skin off and my feet and they started feeling really quite normal again! Once I finished with my shaven feet I sanded them once more, just to get things really smooth and moistured them well.

My feet now are alot smoother and I don’t have my little platform anymore but if I don’t regularly sand them down it soon starts to come back!

If you want nice smooth feet I would definitely give them a try but it is a lot of work. But your body is a temple and you are supposed to look after it!

Love me Beauty

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My latest delivery from love me beauty.

A little underwelming, overall the products in the box were good. I love the lipstick, its in a metal case and it really does feel expensive, the shade is Wild Peony. Its a good shade as i think it will go nicely with all skin tones and a great transitional shade from Summer to Autumn!

The carmex is also another safe thing to add although do we really need two different flavours?

The nailsinc gel like nail polish is rubbish. It looks great when you first put it on, but within a day it begins to chip and i havent been doing anything overly strenuous! I have this nail polish in 3 shades now from various Beauty boxes so its clear Nailsinc are doing some serious PR work or just giving away all their rubbish for free!

I do love subscription boxes and this isnt really typical of what you get in them, i just think maybe they were a little stick for idea’s maybe?

The box including delivery is £14 and i would pay that for the lipstick alone so i guess i got a few freebies!

If any of you get a beauty box let me know which ones or if youve written blog posts about them! I would live to know what other people think of them!

Please hit Like and Follow 🙂
Much Love Helen x

Day 4 meat free

To start the day off right especially on my day off!! Woop! I made a juice 🙂

8 small carrots
3 small apples
1/2 inch peeled ginger
1 small orange
6 inches of cucumber

Tastes soooo nice!

Andrew then made scrambled egg on toast! He makes the best eggs ever nom!

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We went to Ikea today…which was dangerous but we only spent a little bit so all is good 🙂 could have come back with too much stuff!

After this we went to Frankie and Bennys with our friends Louise and Ryan. Its never something I’ve noticed before but WOW how slim are the pickings for vegetarians? There were about 5 options overall with a disclaimer at the bottom saying the food was prepared alongside everything else. This is kinda disgusting really, you make a life choice and have it undermined by food chains!
Anyway i had the vegetable burger and Andrew had the red french pizza 🙂 both very tasty 🙂

We got home about 8pm and wern’t really hungry so we didn’t have any dinner last night but i made some breakfast bars. As getting up early to make breakfast is not my thing!
There is a separate post all about the recipe and where and why 🙂

Please hit Like and Follow 🙂
Much Love Helen x

My March beauty buys

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My beauty buys!!

L’oreal The minerals true match

I have combination skin and i find it really difficult sometimes finding a product that sits well on parts of my face that are dry particularly my forehead and around my nose. If i use foundation it can dry it out further and powder seems to highlight it also, this product in shade Ivory sits on my skin really well actually. It gives me even coverage, you can apply it and still have a light whilst it is still build-able. My only criticism is that it can be a little messy, the first time i used it i got it all over my self.

L’oreal Volume Million Lashes in Extra black

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this. I have used it before and i still love it. The applicator is plastic and i know a lot of people don’t like them but i much prefer them, i can get right to the base of my lashes and it gives them a much fuller look. It doesn’t clump my lashes together.

L’oreal brow artist shaper

I am not a fan. Its nothing to do with the product really, it does everything it is supposed to but i prefer powder, i find that it makes everything look much more natural.

Barry M Genie

This is amazing. So i’m not really experimental with green shades of lipsticks, when it goes on it’s clear and then it starts reacting with the alkaline on your skin and gives each person that wears it their own personal shade of pink.

Barry M Nail varnish

Barry M Nail varnishes are always really good quality. I have had it on for over a week now and it only just needs to be redone which for me is pretty amazing i give my nail varnishes a really hard time!

MUA Matte

This was £1… Its beautiful…. its £1…enough said really!