Going with the flow

These four words up until now have been my life’s mantra. I’m chilled relaxed and I go with the flow. I have said this so many times and about so many things.

But what is going with the flow.

 Going with the flow is nice and it’s easy. It’s lazy. Your not making any of your own life decisions. You are passively letting your life go by, reacting to it only when it needs to be reacted to. 

It’s true that sometimes things happen in your life that you are unable to control and your only option is to go with the flow. But where has going with the flow really ever gotten anyone?

Did Richard Branson simply go with the flow when his flight got cancelled? No he commanded something different from his life, chartered a plane, charged other stranded passengers airfair and got where he was going and a whole new business venture appeared from it.

If you aren’t in love with what you do but you also don’t hate it, you just coast and go with the flow… Only to find out in 5/10/15/20 years time that you could and SHOULD have been doing something more worthwhile. Something of value. Maybe not physical value, but something that brings value into YOUR life. After all your the one that is living it. 

Command more value from your life. Stop simply going with the flow!

Advertisements

More for less

Does stuff make us happy?

Are 10 dresses hung up in the wardrobe better than just the 2 you actually wear? Bottles and bottles of moisturiser, shower gels, shampoos, conditioners and face wash, when a bar of soap Would do?

When you have a couple of hours to kill so you go shopping, feeling a bit blue? Shopping? New job? New outfit! Single? New outfits!! 

What has happened to buying once and buying right? 

We have become such a throw away society and it’s killing the planet!

We buy so much crap. Let alone the single use plastics we use. We buy into fast fashion, buy an outfit for when we lose weight (we never do) or in a colour we really should wear (but never do). We buy air fresheners that pollute our homes, cleaning products which poison us and eat food that are killing us. 

No more!! Not in my house!

Hospital stay

Bolton hospital was amazing every single member of staff from the health care assistants, midwives, consultants and registrars were amazing.

I received the best possible care i could have asked for and more importantly so did my son. After a rocky birth my son was in neonatal where he was being treated for problems with his breathing, antibiotics because he had done a poo inside of me and an x-ray for a suspected broken clavicle which turned out to be fine.

Two after his delivery we finally got word that he was fine and doing well so i was cleaned up and taken down to see him. The first time i saw him, in his incubator, i burst into tears, a warmth came over me that is very hard to describe. The neonatal nurse/doctor put him in my arms and it was the most perfect moment. Despite the tubes and wires he was perfect. I loved him with all of my heart. I don’t care what anyone says but that feeling is terrifying! Amazing and scary!

After too little of a time i felt like i would pass out from tiredness so had to leave my precious little bundle in the neonatal ward with all the machines buzzing and beeping alone. Heartbreaking, but i knew he was going to be fine!

Andrew was made to leave and I was taken to the ward where i was given tea, toast and painkillers and i have to say they were the best things i think I’ve ever tasted… even now.

I got as much sleep as my adrenaline fueled body could manage and counted down till Andrew could come back so we could see our son together. When we went back to neonatal the next morning i was happily surprised to see that Henry only had a few wires on him and no tubes, i wanted to get him straight from his incubator but he looked so tiny and delicate i asked for the midwifes help. She handed him to me and asked me how intended on feeding him and helped me with my first breastfeed. He latched on straight away and was on me for about 45 minutes the little champ. Hours seemed to pass in minutes and we had to go back to the ward to eat and was instructed to go down to neo to feed Henry every two hours which was no hard task for me! At 2am that night when Andrew was at home Henry was given the all clear to come upstairs with me to the ward… my responsibility…. terrifying again! Ha! This was the first of 2 completely sleepless night of me simply staring at this beautiful life me and my husband had created.

Whilst in hospital i got tons of support with how to change him, dress him, feed him, swaddle him… everything i asked was answered. They never made me feel like i was asking silly questions and helped me through everything. I could not recommend Bolton hospital enough to any one!

Labour and birth story

Friday 26th May, I went into hospital as I was having some reduced movements with my little boy. I had the same thing at 31 weeks so was expecting them to tie me to the machine wait around for about half an hour to be told everything was fine and to go home. However what actually happened is that it was a hot day and my blood pressure was up so they wanted me to stay until it came down, it didn’t. They gave me some pills and said because I was 39+4 that they would be inducing me the next day. My blood pressure went straight back up (in shock) so they decided to induce me then and there.

So after midnight i was admitted on to the ward and given the pessary to get things going and had a sweep….fun times.

At about 4am i woke up in quite a bit of pain as the pessary had actually slipped down. The midwife popped it back into place and i managed to sleep through the night. The next day i was having some contractions so i kept moving all day long. If things don’t go into full-blown labour they only check your cervix after 24 hours and i was determined not to be in any longer than i needed to be, so i was walking up and down the halls and bounced on the exercise balls just to keep things moving along. Like i said i was having mild contractions and then when my husband left me at around 9pm they stopped completely….fun. So into bed i got awaiting my examination at 2am. I set an alarm and when i woke up went off to find someone to see how well i was doing.

I was 3cm dilated and the midwife did another sweep to see if she could get me going at more speed and said as soon as someone was free and a room available I would be going down to the labour ward and have my waters broke!! Terrifying haha! She said it would probably be in the morning so i text Andrew to let him know what was happening and went back to bed to try to get some rest.

At 5am I was woken up by a health care assistant to tell me i was going down stairs now. She had to repeat herself about 3 times as i was still pretty much asleep and in shock i think!

So I gathered my stuff and went with her,  i was worried that i wouldn’t have time to ring Andrew as i wanted him there when they broke my waters but the midwife assured me she wouldnt do anything until he got there. By the time everything was set up and ready to go it was 8am there is a shift change at 8:30 so we all decided that we would wait until the new midwife was there so that i wasnt being examined and then examined again 30 minutes later.

The new midwife Rae couldn’t reach my cervix to feel how dilated i was or to break my waters, i guess for me its a little “longer” in there ha ha. She went out to find someone with longer fingers and returned with a Registrar Ken. He broke my waters in about 3 seconds flat and didn’t hurt a tiny bit. They gave me an hour to see if my contractions started naturally or id have to go on the drip as it appeared my little boy had opened his bowels inside… nice one kid! So the hour came and went and the contractions did start but not of any kind of intensity they were hoping for so i went on the drip. Now up until this point i hadn’t touched any pain relief although they did keep offering me gas and air. About an hour after the drip was put in the contractions started and BOY did THEY. My contractions were in the top of my legs, my hips felt like they were being pulled apart so i very quickly picked up the gas and air nozzle. It is a weird feeling the gas and air, a little bit like your tipsy, i’m not sure it did loads for the pain but it got me through another hour or so… then the contractions got too painful and i wanted something better… so i was given diamorphine…. i was being sick and mooing like a cow although Andrew my hubby said i sounded more like an owl hooting but despite all this i was also quite comfortable, once the contraction stops all the pain disappears… its very strange! I was in labour for about 9 hours in total. Due to the hip contractions and the drip i was strapped to a machine to monitor baby’s heart rate and couldn’t really move.

I remember getting the strangest urge to push although i felt like it was too early…. so i tried to stop myself from pushing but not being able to stop myself. For me it felt like when your retching… like your body just taking over and not being able to stop it. At this point i had been pushing for an unknown amount of time when my little ones heart rate started dipping to the point where the midwife was concerned so she buzzed for back up, as she did alarms started going off everywhere… and two of them had nothing to do with me and everything to do with another 2 women in need of assistance pretty much at the exact same time.

Time became a priority in what felt like 20 seconds the room filled with people running around and moving things and setting things up. I needed emergency assistance, the two other women were taking up the theatres so there was no where for me to go, they turned my room into an emergency theatre, i dont know if it was the panic of the situation or not but the diamorphine started to wear off. A consultant came in and was all dressed ready to intervene, i was going to have a forcept delivery. On my next push he was going to help me get my son out. The pain was incredible, the feeling strange and stomach turning but i didnt care my son needed to be born. The consultant said he needed to cut me to help get Henry out, i didnt care. On the next contraction a midwife pushed on my stomach i pushed with all my might and the consultant dragged my son out by his head.

Henry was placed on me for a few seconds but was quickly taken away and put on the resuscitator. He had a problem with his breathing and a suspected broken clavicle so was rushed down to neonatal where he would be well looked after.

Once my placenta was removed i wasn’t in any pain whats so ever, its all very strange…. but hey i guess that is mother natures reward for putting you through such an ordeal. The consultant started sowing me up and he apologised for being so rough with me but it really was a priority that my son was delivered asap, i didn’t care, i still don’t. Yea when i think back it does sort of make my skin crawl remembering the feeling of it all but it was to save my son… Id do it again tomorrow. The labour itself really wasn’t that bad and i will go into my next pregnancy with no fear of that… the drugs definitely worked! Which in itself must say a lot and give any expecting mother some hope.

 

Travel whilst pregnant 

Being 22 weekend pregnant my husband and I decided we would take the opportunity to go on a baby-moon which is essentially a holiday whilst pregnant to just be a happy couple and have a bit of us time.

When me and Andrew first got together we went to Venice for our first holiday and it was great although we stayed in a hostel so wasn’t as romantic as it could have been so we decided to go again but this time stay in a hotel. It was much better. We stayed for 4 days 3 nights and really enjoyed it

Before we set off I made sure the travel insurance we purchased covered us should something happen involving my pregnancy and photocopied my pregnancy notes. I even bought flight socks which as I’ve never used any before I can say they are actually surprisingly comfy and my legs didn’t feel quite as “heavy”.

Whilst away I had growing pains once a day for about half an hour and Henry had a growth spurt or more accurately I did. I woke up the day after getting there and my stomach seemed to have sprung out of nowhere but apparently that’s a thing that happens…. Something else which provided entertainment is it was whilst away on this romantic getaway my breasts decided to start leaking clear fluid… Why is pregnancy so God damn sexy!

Packing was a bit hit and miss I wish I had brought lip balm and a different moisturiser for my stomach. It was that cold being January and all, I didn’t wear any of the nice clothes I packed and ended up wearing as many layers as possible and my coat the entire time!

Andrew was really patient with me which was amazing he didn’t rush me and constantly reminded me to go and pee before we left anywhere. Was always there to rub my back when Henry decided to push or pull or whatever it is he has been doing on the inside. So all in all it has been an amazing and very enjoyable trip. I just need a holiday now to recover from this holiday ha ha 😂

img-20170128-wa0023.jpg

 

 

 

First trimester 

I have to say I have been very lucky in the fact my first trimester has come and gone with little over 3 weeks of morning sickness and I think sickness is a bit strong of a word for what I was feeling. More like morning nausea. Once I’d done some proper reading I discovered eating as soon I woke up, holding my nose going past anything strong smelling and staying away from anything savoury kept it all to a minimum. My only craving was for vimto… My food aversions however were another thing, I could no longer eat or even contemplate the following foods:

  • Bacon
  • Chicken
  • Hot dogs
  • Chilli
  • Spaghetti Bolognese 
  • Eggs
  • Fish
  • Chips
  • Fish and chips together
  • Pizza
  • Cheese
  • Vegetables in general
  • Vinegar 
  • Salt
  • Pasta

I could eat everything sweet… So it was all very interesting to say the least trying to eat and although I can now eat mostly everything on this list I still struggle with Chilli and Spaghetti Bolognese, I think it’s the mince. But I’m not really sure.

I had a slight amount of lower back pain but nothing too much and ended up with a cold… Which I suffered through without any help from painkillers, although next time I’m Ill and not pregnant I’m going straight to boots for the cold and flu medicine as I’ve been taking it for granted for far far too long.

We had our 12 week scan which was on day 12 weeks +4 and turns out my little bubs was measuring exactly right, heart beat going strong, two arms, two legs I definitely couldn’t be happier. Andrew came with me and had a massive smile throughout the whole experience. I got a massive wave of emotions and burst into happy tears. Obviously I was worried about the scan and excited all at the same time but it was only once we had been given the ok I realised just how worried I had been.

I started showing around 10 weeks not enough that anyone would know looking at me but enough that myself and Andrew could tell, being around my body all the time and that.

Growing up

image

So on Thursday I Start my slimming world journey. My bmi is 29 I’m getting closer and closer to 13 stone and I need to lose atleast 2 stone to be within my healthy weight range. I’ve tried Weight watchers in the past and I found the weekly meeting a great way to keep up motivation but I found the whole points system far too much like hard work. I didn’t want to have to weigh everything out like a mad woman and I also know what I can and can’t eat. It’s going to be a big year this year and I want to get as healthy as possible! I’m moving house, getting a car hopefully a cat and a dog and maybe even start trying for a family but all of this will be much harder to cope with if when I’m lifting and carrying stuff im out of breath and I don’t want to be over the weight I am now once I’ve had a baby. Why is growing up so ridiculous. Not only do you have to get one thing right or as close as can be you have to do the same for everything! I have a lot of admiration for those people that just get on with things with little to no planning, I’m making back up plans for my back up plans. Who doesn’t have a plan z for everything?!
I’m eating healthier now anyway so its not like  eating everything we have in between now and Thursday that’s just when I can get to a meeting. I am going to do a weekly blog/video 📹 about all of this and the step by step journey I’m taking. If anyone wants to do this journey with me id me more than happy! Just send me an email or message me on here!

Hope everyone has a very healthy Tuesday 🙂

Love Helen xx

I am a flake

I am a flake. I am here and there and every where and no where all at once. I have a very short attention span and when I love something I put my everything into it…until I get bored and then I put my heart into something else and then get bored.

Like blogging. I love it, then as soon as it becomes a hassle to do it, I stop. I do it with everything in life apart from actual people which is good. I go from buying everything to buying nothing and wanting to get out of the whole capitalism thing that plagues our every decision. To diet and lose weight to embracing my womanly curves. To wanting to change jobs to loving my job.

I’m a contradiction and a hypocritical loser. The things I genuinely do love I come back to time and time again which is a good sign that’s its not all a complete loss. I am also very pleased that my husband knows I am a flake and can talk some sense into me when I am just about to sign up to some class that I have to pay for in advance or something that requires a commitment that he knows I will never keep. I don’t do it on purpose and most of the time, at the beginning of one of my hair brained idea’s I am truly convinced that this time it will be different.

It’s a bit of a love, hate relationship I have with my flakiness as when I have found something I am truly passionate and I put all of my effort into and then I get bored, get distressed at life and then fall back In love with something else. My dad is exactly the same. The amount of diy projects he has started and given up on. The amount of collections he has started and given up on…

Life is one crazy rollercoaster thing that I still don’t quite understand my place in yet…

Anyway hope you have a great day =)

Love Mrs Flakey xxx

image

At home Pedicures

I am unfortunately burdened like many other people with rough dry dead skin on the bottom of my foot. I have my own little dead skin platforms that are unsightly and quite frankly a bit gross. Getting them out in public has always caused me some embarrassment but life’s just a little too short!

After scouring the Internet for what products works the best it was Groupon than saved the day with a fabulous offer on a magipedi. It was £30 reduced from £90 and now all of my foot problems were going to be a thing of the past!

image

I got the micopedi and began using it on my troubled areas and in a cloud of dead skin and about 40 minutes later I decided enough was enough! After hoovering up a considerable amount of sawdust my feet felt smoother, softer and much healthier. Feeling rather dusty after my skin removal I jumped in the shower and nearly broke my neck but I guess I just didn’t have as much grip as I was used to!

After a few days the skin on my feet began to string off like on the side of your finger nails when you have been chewing them. But I sanded them all off with my handy foot sander. I don’t think I was using it nearly as much as someone with the amount of deadline as I have should have been and it never really got much further down….

Foot revival part 2:

On a knifes edge; wandering around boots I came across a very strange looking razor designed for feet. Now this isn’t the type of razor that you buy to get rid of unsightly toe hairs but to actually shave the excess skin from your feet… Tasty.

I got home and wanted to get on with this interesting purchase and soaked my feet in hot/warm water with added coconut and lavender oil!

After about half an hour I got my soaking soft tootsies out of the water and began my foot shaving experiment. What happened next is pretty awesome. The skin just literally came off, it was like peeling a potato, I got loads of skin off and my feet and they started feeling really quite normal again! Once I finished with my shaven feet I sanded them once more, just to get things really smooth and moistured them well.

My feet now are alot smoother and I don’t have my little platform anymore but if I don’t regularly sand them down it soon starts to come back!

If you want nice smooth feet I would definitely give them a try but it is a lot of work. But your body is a temple and you are supposed to look after it!