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Will we ever be satisfied. We are genetically engineered to hoard to save things in good times so we are prepared in bad times, but now, now that there is an abundance of stuff. Surely we don’t need to hoard.

 Fortunately for many we can simply go out and get the stuff we need. 

We are reluctant to give the stuff we don’t need to the needy “just in case.” And those expensive items we got ourselves and don’t use but feel too guilty to sell for a loss or to donate.

If you don’t need it on a daily or even weekly basis chances are you could get along just fine with out it!

Rid your home of the crap that we don’t need, that we don’t use and the stuff that doesn’t bring us joy.

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Labour and birth story

Friday 26th May, I went into hospital as I was having some reduced movements with my little boy. I had the same thing at 31 weeks so was expecting them to tie me to the machine wait around for about half an hour to be told everything was fine and to go home. However what actually happened is that it was a hot day and my blood pressure was up so they wanted me to stay until it came down, it didn’t. They gave me some pills and said because I was 39+4 that they would be inducing me the next day. My blood pressure went straight back up (in shock) so they decided to induce me then and there.

So after midnight i was admitted on to the ward and given the pessary to get things going and had a sweep….fun times.

At about 4am i woke up in quite a bit of pain as the pessary had actually slipped down. The midwife popped it back into place and i managed to sleep through the night. The next day i was having some contractions so i kept moving all day long. If things don’t go into full-blown labour they only check your cervix after 24 hours and i was determined not to be in any longer than i needed to be, so i was walking up and down the halls and bounced on the exercise balls just to keep things moving along. Like i said i was having mild contractions and then when my husband left me at around 9pm they stopped completely….fun. So into bed i got awaiting my examination at 2am. I set an alarm and when i woke up went off to find someone to see how well i was doing.

I was 3cm dilated and the midwife did another sweep to see if she could get me going at more speed and said as soon as someone was free and a room available I would be going down to the labour ward and have my waters broke!! Terrifying haha! She said it would probably be in the morning so i text Andrew to let him know what was happening and went back to bed to try to get some rest.

At 5am I was woken up by a health care assistant to tell me i was going down stairs now. She had to repeat herself about 3 times as i was still pretty much asleep and in shock i think!

So I gathered my stuff and went with her,  i was worried that i wouldn’t have time to ring Andrew as i wanted him there when they broke my waters but the midwife assured me she wouldnt do anything until he got there. By the time everything was set up and ready to go it was 8am there is a shift change at 8:30 so we all decided that we would wait until the new midwife was there so that i wasnt being examined and then examined again 30 minutes later.

The new midwife Rae couldn’t reach my cervix to feel how dilated i was or to break my waters, i guess for me its a little “longer” in there ha ha. She went out to find someone with longer fingers and returned with a Registrar Ken. He broke my waters in about 3 seconds flat and didn’t hurt a tiny bit. They gave me an hour to see if my contractions started naturally or id have to go on the drip as it appeared my little boy had opened his bowels inside… nice one kid! So the hour came and went and the contractions did start but not of any kind of intensity they were hoping for so i went on the drip. Now up until this point i hadn’t touched any pain relief although they did keep offering me gas and air. About an hour after the drip was put in the contractions started and BOY did THEY. My contractions were in the top of my legs, my hips felt like they were being pulled apart so i very quickly picked up the gas and air nozzle. It is a weird feeling the gas and air, a little bit like your tipsy, i’m not sure it did loads for the pain but it got me through another hour or so… then the contractions got too painful and i wanted something better… so i was given diamorphine…. i was being sick and mooing like a cow although Andrew my hubby said i sounded more like an owl hooting but despite all this i was also quite comfortable, once the contraction stops all the pain disappears… its very strange! I was in labour for about 9 hours in total. Due to the hip contractions and the drip i was strapped to a machine to monitor baby’s heart rate and couldn’t really move.

I remember getting the strangest urge to push although i felt like it was too early…. so i tried to stop myself from pushing but not being able to stop myself. For me it felt like when your retching… like your body just taking over and not being able to stop it. At this point i had been pushing for an unknown amount of time when my little ones heart rate started dipping to the point where the midwife was concerned so she buzzed for back up, as she did alarms started going off everywhere… and two of them had nothing to do with me and everything to do with another 2 women in need of assistance pretty much at the exact same time.

Time became a priority in what felt like 20 seconds the room filled with people running around and moving things and setting things up. I needed emergency assistance, the two other women were taking up the theatres so there was no where for me to go, they turned my room into an emergency theatre, i dont know if it was the panic of the situation or not but the diamorphine started to wear off. A consultant came in and was all dressed ready to intervene, i was going to have a forcept delivery. On my next push he was going to help me get my son out. The pain was incredible, the feeling strange and stomach turning but i didnt care my son needed to be born. The consultant said he needed to cut me to help get Henry out, i didnt care. On the next contraction a midwife pushed on my stomach i pushed with all my might and the consultant dragged my son out by his head.

Henry was placed on me for a few seconds but was quickly taken away and put on the resuscitator. He had a problem with his breathing and a suspected broken clavicle so was rushed down to neonatal where he would be well looked after.

Once my placenta was removed i wasn’t in any pain whats so ever, its all very strange…. but hey i guess that is mother natures reward for putting you through such an ordeal. The consultant started sowing me up and he apologised for being so rough with me but it really was a priority that my son was delivered asap, i didn’t care, i still don’t. Yea when i think back it does sort of make my skin crawl remembering the feeling of it all but it was to save my son… Id do it again tomorrow. The labour itself really wasn’t that bad and i will go into my next pregnancy with no fear of that… the drugs definitely worked! Which in itself must say a lot and give any expecting mother some hope.

 

TTC

I’ve been broody for the last 2 years. But life has been in the way, being sensible gets me down sometimes and luckily I have a very sensible husband who despite my constant cooing over babies and children said over and over again we weren’t quite ready yet, we didn’t have any savings, we lived in a one bedroom apartment in the middle of Manchester, I had just changed jobs, not the ideal time to bring life into the world if you have full control of the situation and I knew he was right so we waited. When our tenancy agreement was coming to an end we knew it was time to move in to a house. Not just to start a family but we had gotten sick of city living and wanted something a bit more in the countryside.

My husband and I started trying to conceive a month after we moved into our beautiful house back in August. We finally had the perfect house in the perfect area and everything just felt right.

We had a house warming party and it was going to be the last time I drank, trying to get pregnant and then hopefully getting pregnant is most definitely a good time to not drink! 

My last cycle started on the 22nd of August 2016. Previous to this I had already started take prenatal vitamins every evening and making sure my diet was “fairly” healthy. I had pretty much read everything I could possibly read on how to get pregnant, when the best time was and the science of it.

I bought ovulation kits and made sure we did the deed…everyday we were supposed to. A few weeks later I started having a few symptoms, my boobs hurt and I had back ache which I have never had before and after a quick Google, turned out to be a pregnancy symptom.. So I did a pregnancy test a full 2 weeks before aunt flo was even due, a negative result was all that could be expected even if I was pregnant with triplets it would still turn up negative. Slightly disappointed but logic kicking in I didn’t stress out too much.

I bought the early result pregnancy test from Tesco that say they can show a positive result as early as 7 days before AF was due and I waited until it was 3 days away. It was about 11pm and I just couldn’t wait… I nervously fumbled with the packaging and went into the bathroom. I set a timer on my phone and just sat on the toilet and waited. I couldn’t decide if there was the faintest pink line in that box or if my eyes were just playing tricks on me… I had to hold it in the light and at an angle…  Hmmm i went into the bedroom and show Andrew my hubby the test. He could also just about see it. 

Google: Pregnancy tests are designed to detect hCG in your wee – because hCG is an early marker of pregnancy. … So, a very faint line nearly always means you’re just a few days pregnant.

I know it’s stupid but I was very very excited… Andrew was trying to keep me level headed after all there is many things that could go wrong. It might be wrong… Wishful thinking, chemical pregnancy, miscarriage the list is what feels endless about what could possibly go wrong. I tried to not get my hopes up. 

The next day I went to work and was sent off to go grab some bits from Tesco. I didn’t need anything from the toiletries Isle but somehow found myself there looking at clearblue tests, early pregnancy detection stated on the front. At £20 for two I put them in my basket and paid for everything. I didn’t even manage to get out of Tesco, I went straight to the loo and did another test. I washed my hands put the test in my bag and walked back to work. Luckily for me I have a very close relationship to everyone I work with so they all knew we were trying to get pregnant so I dug out the test once I’d got to work and again another really faint line. I asked everyone around if they too could see what I could see… I was pregnant. I sent a picture to Andrew he could also see it.

Nervously we waited a week and no period came, I did another clearblue test this one was the digital test with just pregnant and not pregnant no lines to decipher just yes or no. I waited until we were both home did the the test: Pregnant 1-2 weeks, in pregnancy land that actually makes me 4 weeks pregnant. We were over the moon and felt so blessed to get pregnant straight away. Against what many people may think we told close friends and family straight away but kept it quiet to the general public. Everyone was made up told me to relax and enjoy it. 

One thing I am sure everyone has gone through pregnancy will understand is that you can’t relax especially in those first 3 months… Worry is your new best friend!

I know that for many people their journey to pregnancy and children is completely different, I can’t imagine what it would be like to see a negative test over and over. We have been truly blessed and humbled by our experience so far. I can only hope all those people trying out there get their very own positive test very soon.
Hopefully you enjoyed this post there will be follow up stories. About pregnancy and life.