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Will we ever be satisfied. We are genetically engineered to hoard to save things in good times so we are prepared in bad times, but now, now that there is an abundance of stuff. Surely we don’t need to hoard.

 Fortunately for many we can simply go out and get the stuff we need. 

We are reluctant to give the stuff we don’t need to the needy “just in case.” And those expensive items we got ourselves and don’t use but feel too guilty to sell for a loss or to donate.

If you don’t need it on a daily or even weekly basis chances are you could get along just fine with out it!

Rid your home of the crap that we don’t need, that we don’t use and the stuff that doesn’t bring us joy.

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Hospital stay

Bolton hospital was amazing every single member of staff from the health care assistants, midwives, consultants and registrars were amazing.

I received the best possible care i could have asked for and more importantly so did my son. After a rocky birth my son was in neonatal where he was being treated for problems with his breathing, antibiotics because he had done a poo inside of me and an x-ray for a suspected broken clavicle which turned out to be fine.

Two after his delivery we finally got word that he was fine and doing well so i was cleaned up and taken down to see him. The first time i saw him, in his incubator, i burst into tears, a warmth came over me that is very hard to describe. The neonatal nurse/doctor put him in my arms and it was the most perfect moment. Despite the tubes and wires he was perfect. I loved him with all of my heart. I don’t care what anyone says but that feeling is terrifying! Amazing and scary!

After too little of a time i felt like i would pass out from tiredness so had to leave my precious little bundle in the neonatal ward with all the machines buzzing and beeping alone. Heartbreaking, but i knew he was going to be fine!

Andrew was made to leave and I was taken to the ward where i was given tea, toast and painkillers and i have to say they were the best things i think I’ve ever tasted… even now.

I got as much sleep as my adrenaline fueled body could manage and counted down till Andrew could come back so we could see our son together. When we went back to neonatal the next morning i was happily surprised to see that Henry only had a few wires on him and no tubes, i wanted to get him straight from his incubator but he looked so tiny and delicate i asked for the midwifes help. She handed him to me and asked me how intended on feeding him and helped me with my first breastfeed. He latched on straight away and was on me for about 45 minutes the little champ. Hours seemed to pass in minutes and we had to go back to the ward to eat and was instructed to go down to neo to feed Henry every two hours which was no hard task for me! At 2am that night when Andrew was at home Henry was given the all clear to come upstairs with me to the ward… my responsibility…. terrifying again! Ha! This was the first of 2 completely sleepless night of me simply staring at this beautiful life me and my husband had created.

Whilst in hospital i got tons of support with how to change him, dress him, feed him, swaddle him… everything i asked was answered. They never made me feel like i was asking silly questions and helped me through everything. I could not recommend Bolton hospital enough to any one!

Labour and birth story

Friday 26th May, I went into hospital as I was having some reduced movements with my little boy. I had the same thing at 31 weeks so was expecting them to tie me to the machine wait around for about half an hour to be told everything was fine and to go home. However what actually happened is that it was a hot day and my blood pressure was up so they wanted me to stay until it came down, it didn’t. They gave me some pills and said because I was 39+4 that they would be inducing me the next day. My blood pressure went straight back up (in shock) so they decided to induce me then and there.

So after midnight i was admitted on to the ward and given the pessary to get things going and had a sweep….fun times.

At about 4am i woke up in quite a bit of pain as the pessary had actually slipped down. The midwife popped it back into place and i managed to sleep through the night. The next day i was having some contractions so i kept moving all day long. If things don’t go into full-blown labour they only check your cervix after 24 hours and i was determined not to be in any longer than i needed to be, so i was walking up and down the halls and bounced on the exercise balls just to keep things moving along. Like i said i was having mild contractions and then when my husband left me at around 9pm they stopped completely….fun. So into bed i got awaiting my examination at 2am. I set an alarm and when i woke up went off to find someone to see how well i was doing.

I was 3cm dilated and the midwife did another sweep to see if she could get me going at more speed and said as soon as someone was free and a room available I would be going down to the labour ward and have my waters broke!! Terrifying haha! She said it would probably be in the morning so i text Andrew to let him know what was happening and went back to bed to try to get some rest.

At 5am I was woken up by a health care assistant to tell me i was going down stairs now. She had to repeat herself about 3 times as i was still pretty much asleep and in shock i think!

So I gathered my stuff and went with her,  i was worried that i wouldn’t have time to ring Andrew as i wanted him there when they broke my waters but the midwife assured me she wouldnt do anything until he got there. By the time everything was set up and ready to go it was 8am there is a shift change at 8:30 so we all decided that we would wait until the new midwife was there so that i wasnt being examined and then examined again 30 minutes later.

The new midwife Rae couldn’t reach my cervix to feel how dilated i was or to break my waters, i guess for me its a little “longer” in there ha ha. She went out to find someone with longer fingers and returned with a Registrar Ken. He broke my waters in about 3 seconds flat and didn’t hurt a tiny bit. They gave me an hour to see if my contractions started naturally or id have to go on the drip as it appeared my little boy had opened his bowels inside… nice one kid! So the hour came and went and the contractions did start but not of any kind of intensity they were hoping for so i went on the drip. Now up until this point i hadn’t touched any pain relief although they did keep offering me gas and air. About an hour after the drip was put in the contractions started and BOY did THEY. My contractions were in the top of my legs, my hips felt like they were being pulled apart so i very quickly picked up the gas and air nozzle. It is a weird feeling the gas and air, a little bit like your tipsy, i’m not sure it did loads for the pain but it got me through another hour or so… then the contractions got too painful and i wanted something better… so i was given diamorphine…. i was being sick and mooing like a cow although Andrew my hubby said i sounded more like an owl hooting but despite all this i was also quite comfortable, once the contraction stops all the pain disappears… its very strange! I was in labour for about 9 hours in total. Due to the hip contractions and the drip i was strapped to a machine to monitor baby’s heart rate and couldn’t really move.

I remember getting the strangest urge to push although i felt like it was too early…. so i tried to stop myself from pushing but not being able to stop myself. For me it felt like when your retching… like your body just taking over and not being able to stop it. At this point i had been pushing for an unknown amount of time when my little ones heart rate started dipping to the point where the midwife was concerned so she buzzed for back up, as she did alarms started going off everywhere… and two of them had nothing to do with me and everything to do with another 2 women in need of assistance pretty much at the exact same time.

Time became a priority in what felt like 20 seconds the room filled with people running around and moving things and setting things up. I needed emergency assistance, the two other women were taking up the theatres so there was no where for me to go, they turned my room into an emergency theatre, i dont know if it was the panic of the situation or not but the diamorphine started to wear off. A consultant came in and was all dressed ready to intervene, i was going to have a forcept delivery. On my next push he was going to help me get my son out. The pain was incredible, the feeling strange and stomach turning but i didnt care my son needed to be born. The consultant said he needed to cut me to help get Henry out, i didnt care. On the next contraction a midwife pushed on my stomach i pushed with all my might and the consultant dragged my son out by his head.

Henry was placed on me for a few seconds but was quickly taken away and put on the resuscitator. He had a problem with his breathing and a suspected broken clavicle so was rushed down to neonatal where he would be well looked after.

Once my placenta was removed i wasn’t in any pain whats so ever, its all very strange…. but hey i guess that is mother natures reward for putting you through such an ordeal. The consultant started sowing me up and he apologised for being so rough with me but it really was a priority that my son was delivered asap, i didn’t care, i still don’t. Yea when i think back it does sort of make my skin crawl remembering the feeling of it all but it was to save my son… Id do it again tomorrow. The labour itself really wasn’t that bad and i will go into my next pregnancy with no fear of that… the drugs definitely worked! Which in itself must say a lot and give any expecting mother some hope.

 

Guilt

Sitting down feeling terrified

I have nothing but joy ahead

8 weeks until my son arrives, with it comes a year from work

ive never not worked

what is going to happen?

will my brain come with me?

I’m scared of becoming a mindless creature of habit.

I feel guilt as the worry and anxiety emerges

I should be ecstatic right now shouldnt i?

My expanding lumps and bumps

Being pregnant, expansion of your lady lumps is understandable and is predictable. You have probably heard that when your skin is stretching over your growing bump it becomes dry and itchy… I’m 22 weeks pregnant and i wasn’t expecting to be quite as big as i am. Totally gutted i didn’t take measurements of my stomach at the beginning of my pregnancy, I’m all front thankfully so up to now all my ‘weight’ gain is in the front. I did do a fitness update somewhere in a notebook about a month before getting pregnant soooo kinda need to look for that when i have a spare ounce of effort.

Anyway along with my growing stomach and breasts i have experienced said itching and the uncomfortable tightness of my skin stretching and here are the products I’ve been using to try and combat it. Now i HATE the feel of creams/oils/lotions on any part of my body apart from my lower legs, hands and face. Makes me feel icky and i’m yet to experience the so called ‘sinks straight’ in feeling most stuff advertises. These 3 potions are the only ones i can bare to use and for different reasons!

The Palmer’s smells so sweet, its kind of over bearing but i cope with it as its got vitamin E and my skin feels really supple a few hours after application. Its quite thick so does take a while to sink into my skin. But i have heard good reviews about it from other mums and I’ve already bought it, waste not want not etc…

Maternity Stretch mark oil spray goes on quite warm which is a bonus, nothing worse than rubbing freezing cold stuff all over your stomach when you have just got out of bed or about to go to bed. It doesn’t really smell of much and is the least icky on my skin. I normally spray it into my hands first and then rub it onto my stomach.

The Body shop body butter doesn’t claim to help stretch marks in anyway but i love the smell, it reduces the itching and i feel i can use this all over with out the risk of slipping on the wooden flooring and ending up in the kitchen. Its a quite thick on and clogs your skin a little bit if you put more than one application on in a day, as in its like you haven’t exfoliated your skin in a month….

 

Travel whilst pregnant 

Being 22 weekend pregnant my husband and I decided we would take the opportunity to go on a baby-moon which is essentially a holiday whilst pregnant to just be a happy couple and have a bit of us time.

When me and Andrew first got together we went to Venice for our first holiday and it was great although we stayed in a hostel so wasn’t as romantic as it could have been so we decided to go again but this time stay in a hotel. It was much better. We stayed for 4 days 3 nights and really enjoyed it

Before we set off I made sure the travel insurance we purchased covered us should something happen involving my pregnancy and photocopied my pregnancy notes. I even bought flight socks which as I’ve never used any before I can say they are actually surprisingly comfy and my legs didn’t feel quite as “heavy”.

Whilst away I had growing pains once a day for about half an hour and Henry had a growth spurt or more accurately I did. I woke up the day after getting there and my stomach seemed to have sprung out of nowhere but apparently that’s a thing that happens…. Something else which provided entertainment is it was whilst away on this romantic getaway my breasts decided to start leaking clear fluid… Why is pregnancy so God damn sexy!

Packing was a bit hit and miss I wish I had brought lip balm and a different moisturiser for my stomach. It was that cold being January and all, I didn’t wear any of the nice clothes I packed and ended up wearing as many layers as possible and my coat the entire time!

Andrew was really patient with me which was amazing he didn’t rush me and constantly reminded me to go and pee before we left anywhere. Was always there to rub my back when Henry decided to push or pull or whatever it is he has been doing on the inside. So all in all it has been an amazing and very enjoyable trip. I just need a holiday now to recover from this holiday ha ha 😂

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Pregnancy beauty both good and bad!

Dry skin: I suffer from psoriasis on my hands, feet and scalp. Whenever I’m particularly stressed out the stuff on my scalp comes down slightly and goes onto my forehead but never further down than my eyebrows. Luckily I have a fringe so if it gets bad I just wear my fringe down and it’s hidden… Sorted. Being pregnant has had a very strange effect on my skin as the psoriasis I have on my hands and feet has completely cleared up and the stuff which is only very occasionally on my forehead was taking centre stage. I was caught in a tight place… The more stuff I put on my skin to help with the skin condition the worse it seemed to get, which is pretty standard really but still annoying as you can imagine. Once I got into the second half of the second trimester it seemed to clear up so fingers crossed it will stay away for a while.

Hair: My hair feels amazing! This is definitely a great side effect of pregnancy it’s growing like crazy and feels really thick (although I know it will all come out once baby is here). I cant put conditioner on it or it will get greasy in what feels like 2 seconds flat but oh well not exactly a bad thing! Will save me loads of money between now and the little critters arrival!

Nails: Also growing like crazy although they do seem a little brittle but that could be my imagination. With work all day I really am surprised that they last at all!

Bath bombs: Unfortunately I have had to put my bath bomb obsession to bed, at least until May. They have caused a brief encounter with a PH Imbalance that I sure as hell don’t want a repeat of! The doctor said now I’m pregnant I am more likely to get this sort of thing and if I’ve one once I’ll probably get another! 😱

Tummy: On my expanding stomach I have been applying The body shops Coconut body butter, Palmer’s cocoa butter and boots mummy oil spray for stretch marks. I love the smell and consistency of the body butter it’s definitely the one I have been applying the most, I find the cocoa butter too sweet smelling and the oil spray feels disgusting on my skin… 

Slimming world

This is a very late post about my slimming world experience.

All I can say is that it really is such a great system in 6 months I managed to lose 2 stone. Got into a size 12 with room in my pants to spare… Amazing.

At no point did I feel deprived. If i wanted something I had it. It made the decisions to have unhealthy food easier, if I decided to have a chocolate bar I would choose which ever food gave me the most value for my syns. If I could have a certain chocolate bar for a 5 syns and another type for 10 syns I’d have 2 of the lower syn bar…

The thing that slimming world really did for me was to highlight the amount of empty calories I was having in drinks. Latte’s from Starbucks, fruit juices etc… There are many different options to lower your intake of syns and it was a case of just figuring out what was what and I didn’t have to calorie count.

I loved it!

Once I’ve had my baby I’m getting straight back on it hoping to get down to my 11 stone goal! As I have already managed to go up a stone but i am 6 months in so pretty good going really!

It also kick started my exercise regime which is pretty standard I guess, healthy eating and exercise come hand in hand, my husband and I went walking, running, even walked up and down 16 flights of stairs multiple times! That definitely got the heart rate up!!

First trimester 

I have to say I have been very lucky in the fact my first trimester has come and gone with little over 3 weeks of morning sickness and I think sickness is a bit strong of a word for what I was feeling. More like morning nausea. Once I’d done some proper reading I discovered eating as soon I woke up, holding my nose going past anything strong smelling and staying away from anything savoury kept it all to a minimum. My only craving was for vimto… My food aversions however were another thing, I could no longer eat or even contemplate the following foods:

  • Bacon
  • Chicken
  • Hot dogs
  • Chilli
  • Spaghetti Bolognese 
  • Eggs
  • Fish
  • Chips
  • Fish and chips together
  • Pizza
  • Cheese
  • Vegetables in general
  • Vinegar 
  • Salt
  • Pasta

I could eat everything sweet… So it was all very interesting to say the least trying to eat and although I can now eat mostly everything on this list I still struggle with Chilli and Spaghetti Bolognese, I think it’s the mince. But I’m not really sure.

I had a slight amount of lower back pain but nothing too much and ended up with a cold… Which I suffered through without any help from painkillers, although next time I’m Ill and not pregnant I’m going straight to boots for the cold and flu medicine as I’ve been taking it for granted for far far too long.

We had our 12 week scan which was on day 12 weeks +4 and turns out my little bubs was measuring exactly right, heart beat going strong, two arms, two legs I definitely couldn’t be happier. Andrew came with me and had a massive smile throughout the whole experience. I got a massive wave of emotions and burst into happy tears. Obviously I was worried about the scan and excited all at the same time but it was only once we had been given the ok I realised just how worried I had been.

I started showing around 10 weeks not enough that anyone would know looking at me but enough that myself and Andrew could tell, being around my body all the time and that.